Monday, 9 February 2015

Would You Choose One of Shakespeare's Tragic Heroes as a Valentine's Date?

Which of Shakespeare tragic heroes would you
go on a date with?
Shakespeare wrote some great lovers, but would you really want any of his heroes for a Valentine’s date?

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, those of us who are dateless might still be looking for a special someone to spend the ‘most romantic’ night of the year with.

Of course, if you’re looking here, you won’t have much luck - partly because I’m not convinced they’d make good dates, but mostly because they’re either entirely fictional characters or long-dead historical figures.

Nevertheless, if you had to choose one of Shakespeare’s heroes to be your Valentine, which would you pick?

Titus Andronicus 

Anthony Hopkins as Titus Andronicus 

To be honest, Titus is past the point of having much interest in romance.

However, you might think he’d make a good companion. Well, frankly, he wouldn’t.

Showing a distinct lack of interpersonal skills and not much sympathy, he’s a grizzled old soldier through and through.

And, of course, if you cross him, it’s not just your words he’ll make you eat.

Romeo Montague

Romeo is exciting, but
his affections are fickle

Energetic, fun-loving and demonstrative, on the face of it Romeo could show you a good time.

However, he is as impetuous in his affections as he is in his actions.

So, you’ll need to have him on a tight rein and, most importantly, keep his eyes away from beautiful young members of the Capulet family.

Julius Caesar

Julius Caesar by Reubens
He’s married, for goodness sake!

But, if the thought of Calpurnia’s wrath doesn’t put you off, bear in mind that we’re just over four weeks away from the Ides of March.

So, it’s probably best not to get too attached.


Keep in mind, Freud thought he had
an Oedipus complex

A prince, but not always ‘charming’, Hamlet is intelligent and witty. However, he’s deeply troubled and can be moody and brooding.

He also has a habit of procrastinating and spends a lot of time talking to himself.

While some girls may relish the challenge this disturbed man poses, it’s enough to drive others crazy.


Othello's a decent guy; shame
about his friend

A big, strong hunk of a man, Othello is a General in the Venetian army.

However, he has a softer side. Romantic, affectionate and loyal, Othello seems like the perfect man.

But his choice in friends is troublesome, and if he believes you to be unfaithful, you might not survive the night.

King Lear

Ian Holm as King Lear

Here’s one for the more mature lady or, perhaps, those looking for a sugar daddy.

However, he’s not going to keep those riches for long.

A fiery temper can be indicative of a passionate nature, but, in this case, anger management is a serious issue.

Say the wrong thing or nothing at all, and you risk being ditched like yesterday’s collar’d beef.


Lady Macbeth's a woman you don't
want to scorn

Another married man and, this time, you definitely wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of his other half.

Moreover, he’s pretty focused on advancing his career and doesn’t really have time for romance.

Mark Antony 

No, not the guy who used
to be married to J-Lo.

Word to the wise, girls: steer well clear.

Very fond of the booze, Mark’s more in love with material things than he is with any one woman.

So, when his wife dies and he has an opportunity to make an honest woman of Cleopatra, he’ll break the poor girl’s heart by marrying Octavia…all for money and status.

He’s a wrong ’un, ladies.

Timon of Athens 

The too trusting Timon
He seems like a wonderful guy: intelligent, articulate and generous to a fault. Literally, generous to a fault.

When his friends neglect him, it’s all going to go horribly wrong.

However, Timon might make the perfect mate for a woman who loves the quiet solitude of nature.

Caius Martius (aka Coriolanus) 

Well, if he's Tom Hiddleston, the appeal is obvious

Another soldier and married man, Coriolanus is a guy who communicates largely with violence.

He can be a bit cocky, which some girls may view as healthy self-confidence.

Worryingly though, his allegiances are swift to change if people don’t agree with his point of view.

But, in his favour, he does still listen to his mother!

So, which of Shakespeare’s tragic heroes would you want to be wined, dined and romanced by?